Can Someone Help Me Put On My Socks?

...because I sure as hell can't reach all the way down there.

Godammit.

Welcome to 931 Judah, a.k.a. "Intensive Care". In this corner we have a hurt child, crying like a school girl, moaning in pain, asking for help to do the simplest of tasks. And in the other there's Liam, arm in a cast from bicep to hand, laughing and running around as if nothing was wrong. I swear, the kid had a few drops of Tylenol on day 2 and he was fine. Me...I'm popping Vicodin and Motrin like they're Pez candies.

I'm broken, again. Out for the season. Back is jacked. I don't need a doctor to tell me I've herniated my L4/L5 disc again. I didn't even DO anything, I just woke up the day after some mild on-the bike jumps and....oh god, not again...


I'm an idiot. Last year was great, 4 months of Pilates leading up to CX and I felt like a lithe 30-yr-old. This year, a couple of lame-ass core exercises on the ball per week and 8 weeks of decent training, and for some reason I expected to feel the same. Hell, I gotta stop acting like a kid.

But damn, I was pumped. Here was the announcement I wanted to make this week:

"Santa Cruz Bicycles/Art By Opsal Cyclocross Team for 2007-2008

Riders Rich "Dark God" Maile and yours truly will be out kicking bootie on the new Santa Cruz Stigmata on CX course near you
...
Rich: "these bikes are punk rock, man, PUNK ROCK!"
Me: "ya...we'll be having strawberries for brunch every Sunday"
...
Sponsors: Santa Cruz Bicycles/Art By Opsal/Shimano/Giro/Crank Brothers/Paul Components/True Temper

But it's ok, because Rich is a one-man wrecking crew, he doesn't need me anyhow. But sweet Jesus, Ferrentino at SCB really went out on a limb for us lining up some great sponsors. Seriously, I had to pinch myself every 8 hours to make sure I wasn't dreaming I was a 26-yr-old spring chicken w/ a phat contract.

Big thanks to Mike F - that was the hardest "no thanks" I ever had to cough up.

And now...on the sidelines. Actually there's plenty to do - I was seriously in the dog-house for even contemplating another season with 2 kids under 5 and Frances working hard as a full-time mom and trying to record the 2nd CD.

I'm in a bit of pain, and I can't sit upright very long. I can't walk very far. Most of my work is done on the laptop laying on my stomach and then rolling over to my back for a few minutes. Getting up is annoyingly difficult. Sneezing is the most unbearable agony and something I dread more than anything else. Experience tells me I'll feel this way for about 2 weeks, then very slowly start to improve.

...but seriously, the hardest thing I have to do every day is put on my goddamn socks.

Parental Nightmare

I work in the basement room below Liam's bedroom. Clackity-clack on the keyboard and then from above:

THUMP!

(screaming child)

"JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Nothing could have prepared me for walking into that room, seeing Liam's hand dangling from a 45-degree break in his forearm. This beautiful little cautious, loving, sensitive creature that we somehow miraculously created...is broken...and screaming bloody murder. I started to flip out but somehow pulled it together just enough to dial 911.

That IKEA loft bed...

...I worry about it all the time when Liam's friends are visiting and they're up and down the ladder. "One of his friends are gonna fall off that thing", I keep thinking. But not Liam, he's too careful. He's afraid of the monkey bars if his feet are 8" off the ground...

...is going on Craigslist this weekend.

That's not an elbow.

Liam is a bawling deer in the headlights. Nurses and doctors try to ask him questions and try all those little tricks that work on every kid but ours - especially now, scared of all the attention and clearly traumatized at the sight of his hideously misshapen forearm, he stares into space in all directions and answers nobody, clings tighter to Fran's shoulders, then resumes crying. I want to whisk him away from this madness.

Some 2 1/2 hours later on our 2nd of 4 trips to radiology and he's still broken and wearing the makeshift cardboard splint the SF Fire Dept EMT's put on him...banished from the X-Ray room where Liam is whimpering in Fran's arms, I finally lost it. All alone in the nook of an empty hallway I'm sobbing like a baby - I can't bear to see Liam go thru this - I'm supposed to protect him from this sort of shit. Some girl comes down the hallway, our eyes meet for a second - we're both crying and neither of us are ashamed. She turns the corner and I calm down. She's probably having a worse day, she looks like she's losing a loved one somewhere around that corner.

The hospital at night - nobody's there for a check-up, everyone is having a bad day - and all these saints choose to work there - god bless them.

At some point during the evening, Liam says:

"I'm sorry...I'm sorry I'm in such a bad mood."

Then the god-awful "reduction" - what they call the re-setting the bones which amounted to filling Liam full of some drug that made his eyes go all crazy and glazed and clearly out of it, and then pulling and manipulating the bones with a hideous cracking sound louder than a bag of chips - feeling a faint coming on I rush out of the room and stand outside the door with my fingers in my ears. Meanwhile Fran is in there holding Liam, she says she barely noticed anything because she was only looking at Liam's face, getting him through it all. No bones about it, she's the rock on which this family stands.

But Liam will be fine. Back at home late last night he started meowing as his alter-ego - a kitten named Mimo. I have no idea where Mimo came from, but he always comes out warm and cuddly and full of love. In the middle of this long sleepless night, Mimo came out to let us know that everything will be fine...and I fought back a different kind of tears.

"1"

Rowan, August 6th, 2007.

Rowan had to wait 365 days to experience chocolate.

Worth the wait, I'd say.

(Note the efficient use of both hands)

Wheels are off

Daddy couldn't be prouder...

I Heart Intervals

...and I Hate Intervals.

Especially, the first one of the year.

But God, the feeling afterwards - you know, you're sitting on the couch, drained, dead to the world, thighs throbbing in such sweet blissful agony...

resting...

rebuilding...

refueling...

Drink a beer and it multiplies the effect.

Interval Afterglow.

Back on the Blog-wagon

I think it's time to start blogging again...lots going on here.

The 2007 Cyclocross Calendar is coming together nicely and should be up on the NCNCA CX site this weekend.

Work is busy and Fran's got me learning to become a Sound Engineer in my downtime as we set up or little home studio to start recording tracks for the follow-up to her first album.

So, after years watching me come home with expensive toys, Frances is exacting her revenge. Guitars, amps, Pro Tools software and hardware, cables, stands, a banjo...

Who knew you could spend $1000 for a microphone?

$250 for a set of headphones?

Tip-o-the-iceberg, my friends.

Anyhow, it's all cool and really a lot of fun, and we're just re-investing the paltry rewards of the first CD to finance the second, which is gonna be a hoot for the little ones and their indie-rockin' hipster parents. Really, I love the songs she's written for this one as much as the first one...she's got a gift.

Liam and Rowan are great. Rowan (9 months) has only just started to crawl but he's waving and saying "Hi", "Dada", "Mama" and all that - he slays us daily with his Buddha-like sweetness. He eats anything and everything but there are some things he just loves - like the fuzz on our new carpet. Liam (4 1/2) is still all about space and ocean - I'm convinced he'll be exploring one of these frontiers as an occupation once he gets over all his fears of loud noises, water, heights, the unknown...

Fran's mom Sheila is visiting and wow how nice it is to have a 3rd party in the "your turn to hold the baby" game. Really, she's great and Liam and Rowan adore her, and so do I. We all love "Sha-Sha"...

BJM vs Versus

Yeah, I know nobody's reading this blog since Cyclocross season has ended (no doubt with good reason), but I gotta rant SOMEWHERE.

Versus (formerly OLN) is on my shit-list...why?

photo stolen from the BJM blog...

#1 - Ok, I was a little bummed that our local boy Ben Jacques-Maynes didn't get any facetime on TV for his 3rd place in the Prologue at the Tour of California. I mean come on, turn those freakin' cameras on when the race starts...duh.

#2 - The Stage One ruling to ignore the written rules of the tour and keep Levi in yellow (and BJM in third) may or may not have been prudent, but I don't think they even mentioned who would have been in yellow on Versus if they had stuck to the rules.

#3 - In my mind, the worst offense was a lack of any mention of BJM's stellar ride in the Solvang TT except for a cursory "oh hey look who's in 10th" by Phil Liggett as the credits began to roll. There, amongst a list of Europe's finest racers was one of Norcal's finest. Ben's teammate Zirbel did get some good coverage for holding the best time early on, but Ben's mug was not to be seen despite beating Zirbel's time and sitting high (3rd) on the leaderboard before the big guns started to roll. Also this ride was further proof that the Prologue was no fluke.

Nothing to Blog About

Lately...except for the fam...

Rowan is getting huge (18+lbs at 6 mos), and as a result our biceps are reaching "maximum pumpitude". Now he's eating solid food and sitting up for a few minutes at a time but mostly just rolling all over the place but not thinking too much about crawling yet. Rolling must be oh so much easier than crawling for one as rotund as he. He's still as sweet and mellow as ever.

Liam has us in constant hysterics (especially Rowan) with his interpretive dance and his alien impersonations. I've got him in training to start carrying Rowan around for us. As you can see from the above photo, he has a ways to go...

More love...

Fran is working on a book deal - no joke. In my mind, she's already famous and successful. Unfortunately BofA isn't reflecting anything to affirm this.

Me, I'm subsisting on a diet of cookie dough, corn chips, and beer.

This morning I did an about-face and went to Pilates class, if only to give the girls something to snigger at...

Blue

Back to the Grind.

We left VT on Sunday and right now it's snowing 4 inches an hour there. God I miss seasons...

It's about 60 degrees in SF today and I'm hoping to sneak out for a bike ride, but honestly I'd rather be up to my waist in "pow". It's probably best that Tahoe is hurting for it since I have no time for it anyhow.

Ignorance = Bliss

I wonder if anyone's racing anymore.



Cousin Billy's Wedding in Yosemite but all I was excited about was buying a cheap sled and taking Liam on run after run in the snow play area at Crane Flat. We were soaked to the bone, what a friggin' blast.

If anyone wants me to update the Cyclocross website they'll have to actually send me an email and tell me what to say, because I'm out of it...completely. If I value my marriage ("I do") I don't have any say in the matter.

I've ridden my bike twice since Nationals - two Marin Headlands loops to Miwok Stables and back on my Single-Speed. It's funny, I've turned into one of "those guys" - you know, the ones that catch and pass you on your blissful jaunt thru the hills just to show off. I get out so seldom that I try to pack a week's intensity into 2 hours. If there's someone to pass, I'll sure as hell pass them - at least I smile and say "hi", tho.

Today I was fortunate enough to have a pretty fit rabbit on a SC Superlight start up Miwok about a minute ahead of me. Anyone who frequents these trails knows that the Miwok trail N-bound between Bobcat and Old Springs is a bee-atch of a climb, and on a SS it is a total body workout because there ain't much sittin' down to be done.

So I killed myself on it, rewarded with the Old Springs descent - one of the few fun and legal ST descents in this birthplace of the MTB - and continued the pain up the Marincello climb, envisioning that my rabbit (who wasn't behind me anymore) chased me all the way up.

I was pooped when I got home. Fran puts Rowan in my arms and says "he's yours, I'm outta here" (Liam was at a friend's house). Rowan is great if you completely engage him. I was too tired to do that, so instead I put him in the Bjorn and do the 15-minute gut-check up the stairs to the top of Grand View Park. It's funny how I have no problem being physically tired, but my brain...well that's another story - I'd rather schlep a 20 lb. 5-month-old up 500 steps than play peek-a-boo. It's just too tiring...



It was a brilliant day and I think I could actually make out individual surfers on Ocean Beach 2 miles away. Rowan rewarded me by falling asleep just as I returned home, he loves walkies.

Parting shot:

First Ride

Liam's first ride

Guess who got a bike for Christmas?

Liam doesn't like going fast.
Liam insists on wearing protective padding every time he gets on his bike - he will not ride otherwise.
Liam is uber-cautious and courteous.

I sometimes wonder if he's mine...

Nora is a bitch

After Nationals I got sicker and sicker, and pretty sure it was the Nora virus, and it was ugly. I'm pretty sure it was the same thing Liam went through a few days prior. Luckily the worst symptoms didn't hit until an hour or so after landing at SFO - that would have been a tough trip. The next 2 days were spent no more than 30' from the nearest potty...ugh.

Happily recovered, tho.

The bikes are still in the box in the garage. If I didn't have to return the box to my teammate, they'd probably be in there until July - no joke.

Riding the Rubber Band

First Day Natz Norcal Wrap-Up

Providence, RI

Dec. 15, 2006

Actually, I'm pretty happy about getting 6th at 35+ Nationals, which may come as a surprise to some of my friends considering how frustrated I was after finishing in roughly the same position in 2003 and 2004.

First of all, the course was frickin' awesome and I would have loved to race it at 100%. No, actually, it was PERFECT. Fast, wide open, tacky, but still techy if you were going fast enough. 3 runups per lap and one set of (very tall) doubles, plus lots of little short climbs on the bike. The ground was moist but just firm enough to hold except for a couple of marginally slipery corners. Three good long road sections. Some great up-and-downs. It was a VERY fair course, lots of passing lanes.

Anyhow, on to the racing. I'll get to my condition and race later but first I'll wrap-up the earlier races.


Noble, Black, Hoefer

Got to the course and saw Lauren out racing already (Women 35-39) - I cheered her on and she looked great, but because her group was racing the same time as the 30-34 group I couldn't tell what place she was in. I was tempted to ask her as she went by - would that have been bad? ;-) Anyhow, she finished 3rd which is great considering this is not a Costantini-style (i.e. slathered in mud) course, and 2nd place was only a few seconds up on her. If Lauren ever gets her starts down she should be ready for jersey fitting, she never saw winner Wendy Williams who did a great ride for a comfortable victory.

At the same time the 30-34 group was out there including the recovering Josie Beggs and former champ Sarah Kerlin - both were solid in 6th and 7th, respectively.

I got a re-cap of the 50-54 race from Mr. Kramer himself - it sounded like he had quite a nice little ride with Ned Overend. At about 2 to go Ned managed to kill it on a couple of the windy road sections to get a buffer over Henry and stretched it out for the win. Great job Henry...remember that guy's a legend!

Tilford crushed the 45-49 field.

Also heard that John Elgart killed it earlier in the 60-64 group with a convincing win. John's wife Linda got 2nd in the Women's 50-54 race

On to the nailbiter of the day, the 40-44 race. Damn, that was some fine racing. I saw Gannon Myall before the race and was amazed how stoic he was about his #99 starting position - he had his work cut out for him. Gun goes off and Todd Hoefer drills it and immediately the decisive break forms - Todd, Mark Noble, Will Black, and Dale Knapp - a star-studded break to say the least. These four basically stayed together the whole dang race. Alan Coates was just behind but seemed to be having some problems (back problems?). Meanwhile, Gannon had managed to move up to about 20th in about 1/2 lap, and continued tearing through the field even while the lead four opened their gap. By lap 2 I think Gannon had passed everyone but had a sizeable deficit to the leaders. It was sooo thrilling watching the lead four come thru and then watch Gannon just gobble up ground and seconds in pursuit. Todd was aware of the situation and was sitting in the group, hoping that Gannon could close the gap. He was so tantalizingly close but never quite made the juncture, and the lead four were destined to finish it off. Todd attacked the run-up before the finish but Mark Noble somehow managed to get by him on the descent to the pavement, and sprinted in for a tight victory over Will and Todd - announcer Richard Fries was going CRAZY! Congrats to Mark, but I still have to give the ride of the day to Gannon. Great ride by Todd, too, who proved he's not just a "mudder".

Fast forward past my race (save the fluff for the end, right?), and on to the 30-34 race - defending champ Justin Robinson put on a valiant effort, leading for the first 1/4 lap and then tenaciously hanging tough for a number of laps in the 2nd group behind a fast-starting Grant Berry. Justin eventually faded, though, and started losing spots finally ending up 8th, just a couple of spots ahead of Simon Vickers, who also had a solid race. The finish of the race saw the remnants of Justin's group - Ryan Leech and former Nor-Cal rider Chris Pietrzak catching Berry and then sprinting it out with Leech taking the spectacular win by 1/2 a bike length over Chris.

Now on to my own personal account and the 35-39 race rpt.

I've been riding some fine lines lately...

Fine line #1 - somewhere between in-and-out of the doghouse - my wife is super-busy as a full-time mom and trying to promote her amazing children's CD (no more plugs I promise), and my racing has been a series of compromises and my training a few stolen sessions in the dark in Golden Gate Park after Liam is snug in bed. Occasional bike maintenance in the wee hours of the morning, and then up at the crack of dawn with Liam until I'm off to work. Sleep be damned.

Fine-line #2 - not surprisingly I've been teetering between health and sickness for about 1 1/2 weeks, and I think the early flight out Thursday AM after about 2 hrs sleep the night before did me in, and this morning I awoke completely congested and my head was in a fog, hacking cough, the whole nine yards. Warming up, I actually felt dizzy. Julie Barrot told me I looked like shit. Not good.

But there I was, 3000 miles from home and sitting on the 3rd row behind a strong field of riders, no choice but to race. My first goal was to put myself in the lead group, and thankfully the course allowed me to make up ground pretty handily and by 1/2 lap I was with '05 champ Shannon Skerrit and Brandon Dwight. Chris Peck (I think) hit the pavement hard in a corner which helped open the gap to Matt Kraus (who was absolutely drilling it off the front) and Richard Feldman ahead. By the end of the lap Brent Prenzlow bridged up from his 5th row spot and rode right thru us in pursuit of Richard and Matt. I was absolutely on the rivet from there on out, and basically just switched from holding Brandon's wheel to Shannon's - I felt a little guilty NEVER putting my nose in the wind but the only thing holding me there was my pride and that invisible rubber band that I have always been adept at clinging to. Shannon and Brandon hauled back Brent and were on the heels of Feldman with Matt a little ways up the road. Curt Davis joined our group and the race was still very much up in the air. The leaders were so tantalizingly close - always 10-15 seconds - yet I was completely unable to do anything but suck wheel, occasionally even getting gapped off as I started getting sloppier as the race progressed and my power faded. Up ahead Matt's carbon chainguard (and hence, his lead) was deteriorating and his gears started skipping - he started an unfortunate slide backwards as we passed him while he did his best to get to the pit. Feldman pounced on the opportunity and opened a gap, though Brent made a super effort to catch him. Inside 2 to go Shannon stands up and puts in his final bid leaving me, Curt, and Brandon behind. Shannon charged and caught and then outsprinted Brent for 2nd, but he was too late to catch Richard, who stormed to another National Championship. Shannon's attack put me in difficulty and just inside 1 to go I flubbed a re-mount and the rubber band broke - I was suddenly painfully aware of the snot pouring from my nose, and the burning in my lungs and legs, and though I tried to stay focused on catching Curt for 5th, the gap wouldn't come down. I could not sit up, though, because Matt was charging back from his mechanical just behind.

I was a little bummed for Matt because I think he may have pulled it off if his bike hadn't failed - he's a friend-of-a-friend of mine from Boston and has been really turning it up the past couple of years, narrowly losing last year's 30+ race to our own Justin Robinson.

I was actually pretty happy to finish where I did, I definitely rode over my head today even to be in the hunt and only 40 secs off the win. I would have loved to race this course on a better day - this was my ideal course and that was probably what saved me from losing the front group altogether - throw in some mud, snow, or a long hill and I would have been 30-something...easily.

Anyhow, I want to say a huge thanks to Mr. Paul (Rock Lobster) Sadoff for being my (happily unnecessary) pit crew - it took a major load off my mind pre-race that I could count on you if anything went wrong.

There's no more racing for me this weekend (or this season, for that matter), my cold is worsening and my thoughts are back home with the family - I changed my flight plans and I'm heading home tomorrow. I really wanted to see the Elite race and jump in the Sunday race but Fran is flying solo with the boys so I'd best get home and get started on working my way out of the dog house.

Anyhow, it just started raining here in Boston, so perhaps a few changes are afoot for tomorrow's Elite race.

Cheers!
-Funke

PS Full results are here.

So Much Fun It Hurts

Surf City #3
A Race: 7th place
Teammates: Aron

Photos stolen from Chris's Flickr collection. Thanks to Chris also for trying to help me out pre-race.


slurp splosh splash splosh...

I came out with two goals today: get the cobwebs out after my cold this week, and dial in my tire choices for natz should the forecast look muddy. Pretty much nailed my goals but managed a few more shennanigans mixed in there.

On Tuesday I felt myself fighting some sniffles off, and I was scared this was the beginning of something major that would pretty much be the end of my Providence trip. On Wednesday I was out for the count with a snotty, achy, and drowsy head and skipped work along with my mid-week ride. Luckily by Thursday I was feeling better and did a light spin and felt ok. On Saturday, tho I was still a bit congested, I decided to go race and I'm glad I did.

Showed up and did some laps in my spare shoes, to try and figure out which of the 3 tire choices to go with: (1) my new Tufo Flexus (2) 28mm Tufo Pros (yes the black cheapos) and (3) a set was a brand new set of Maxxis Larson CX clinchers. After 1 lap of slipping and sliding around on the Flexus tires I pretty much decided they are no better than the yellow LPS tires I swore never to race in the mud again after 2004 Natz. The Tufo Pros were GREAT - the narrow tires cut like a knife in butter. The Maxxis tires were pretty sweet too - felt similar to the Tufos but I only did one lap on them thanks to some severe chain suckage on the B bike.

10 minutes before the start I went back to the car to change my shoes (my POS backup shoes don't have spikes) and when I got out my Sidi's I noticed the clip that holds the ratchet on the shoe was GONE. Dug around in my bag and found it and the teeny tiny screw, but after messing with it, and even trying another guy's (thanks Chris) screw from his shoe decided the thing was stripped out properly. Went back to the start with 3 shoes, and Chris Dougherty found some duct tape - had to delay the start while everyone heckled me while I taped my shoe onto my foot. Worked well and I'll probably do that in Providence this weekend (if I actually go) in lieu of actually fixing the shoe. Yes, I know this is par for the course - I don't care.

Race starts and I work my way towards the front in the second group. Did the first lap with Josh Snead, Justin Robinson, and Dave Wyandt battling for 4th place (behind Wicks and the J-M bros) but then while placing my bike down after the barriers at the end of the lap my front wheel fell off - doh! I think I knocked the QR on one of my not-so-graceful dismounts (yes, I know I'm an idiot, thanks very much). Lost my group and a good 25 seconds trying to get it back on and re-center the brakes - funny, though, after 1 lap the gaps were already big and only Simon caught me. I think it was a blessing in disguise because I was pushing plenty hard NOT trying to keep up with the 2nd group and that's about all I had in my cold-ravaged lungs. Rode with Simon for the next couple of laps - I know he is in some good back pain right now. I noticed he was having troubles in the deep mud (when you really have to pull from the lower back) and of course on the running sections - I feel your pain, brother. Anyhow, after a couple of bike changes (thanks again to Chris Dougherty) I was back on my A bike with properly functioning brakes and was able to just have some good hard fun and toiled away in 7th for the rest of the race. Towards the end I was contemplating quitting on every lap (mostly while I was running up that damn run-up) because I was wondering if I was actually doing myself harm 6 days before Natz with a cold already. But I stuck it out, though I just tempo-ed the last three laps, mostly to avoid the humiliation of hearing Hernando heckle me from behind the microphone.

Wicks was on another planet about SEVEN FRIGGIN MINUTES ahead. BJM was solid and AJM was impressive especially considering he flew in from Asia that morning.

I think the course was incredible, it wrapped around on itself and the muddy barely-rideable sections were great, as was all the snaking around, the off-cambers (we don't get enough off-cambers in Nor-Cal), and the fun little descents. My only complaint was that the two long running sections were back-to-back - you only took about 20-30 pedal strokes after the gruelling corral run only to go into that killer run-up that was followed by the false flat at the top that pretty much required another 50 meters of running...ugh, I dreaded that section every lap and looked forward to the rest - it would have been nice to break that up. And yes, I was pretty much doing a brisk walk on both these sections by the end of the race...S.L.O.W. BUT I was having fun the rest of the way around the course and after 2 years without racing in the mud it was a great clinic for me in the goopy stuff.

BTW this was the ultimate spectator course - you could see probably 90% of the racing from one vantage point. Too bad there weren't more folks out there. It's kind of a bummer to hear how everyone seems to get so amped up for "real" cx conditions and those who come have so much fun and yet, when it actually happens, only a select group of folks come out for the race. I know it's easy to hit the Snooze bar on a rainy morning, but COME ON FOLKS, it's not like it's a crit in the rain or something...

Anyhow, thanks so much to the Surf City folks for braving the conditions and putting on another top-notch event. You deserve so much more than just the hard-core riders that showed up.

So, as a final note I'm on the fence for Providence once again. For one, I'm still in the throes of this cold, but really it is my son Liam who seems to have gotten a vicious stomach virus and that's too much for me to leave Frances for 5 days with a sick 4-year-old (oh yeah his b-day is Wed) and a hungry 4-month-old. Liam threw up for the first time in his life (well, since the spitting up milk days of infancy at least) and he didn't know what the hell that was all about - he got scared and started bawling. Also, he's up at all hours of the night with diarrhea and that's not only hell for the boy, it's hell for the guy holding the TP.

Real life beckons (sigh)...

Fascinating Creatures Update - Awards and a Video

It has been a busy few months here with some great news and developments for Frances England's Fascinating Creatures children's CD. For those of you who don't know, earlier in the year my wife created a CD of songs to raise money for our son's cooperative preschool. The CD was so well-received that Frances started to market it to the general public, and it has since received glowing reviews from publications and music reviewers around the world. I think Cookie Magazine put it best:

If some genius concert promoter ever puts together a Lilith Fair for 5 year olds, Frances England should be the headline act. The singer-songwriter brings a little bit of Sarah McLachlan and a little bit of Norah Jones, yet manages to create a sound that is distinctly her own…And while the songs may be about tricycles and picture books, England's airy voice and sophisticated songwriting have definite adult appeal.

Fascinating Creatures was recently selected as the sole winner of the 2007 Oppenheim Toy Portfolio Platinum Award for Audio. This is HUGE news as the Oppenheim is generally regarded as the source for independent reviews on children's toys and media, and she was going up against some of the best established children's artists out there. Also, a couple of music critics' polls were recently released with Fascinating Creatures consistently ranking in the top 5 albums of the year.

All this attention for a home-spun CD that started as a humble fundraiser for Liam's preschool, and to date has made its way into people's homes across the country and as far away as Ireland, the UK, and Australia – mostly through word of mouth of friends like you.

The CD is now available online at CDBaby, The Land of Nod, The Poky Pup, Amazon, and for download at the iTunes Music Store. Additionally, it is available at Stumasa in the Cole Valley in SF. We would like to get the CD into some more brick and mortar stores but it is a incredibly time-consuming task.

Finally, we are proud to announce the launch of the new Frances England Website including our first Music Video for the song "Tricycle". Links to the above reviews and awards plus more information on the CD and artist can be found there.


Tricycle Music Video from Fascinating Creatures

Also, check out this great slideshow by Australian Photographer Barb Uil set to Frances' song "Blue Canoe".

Frances will begin recording her second cd in the New Year. Liam, Rowan and I have heard all of her new songs and we all agree that CD #2 will be HUGE! :)

Thanks so much for all of your support -- wishing you a very happy holiday season!

-John

p.s. a number of people have asked about getting multiple copies for friends and family for the holidays, if you would like to order 5 or more CDs, please contact Frances at the below email address for a special discounted rate of $10 per CD.

http://www.francesengland.com/

Email: info@francesengland.com

...Finally Won Something

Tho it wasn't a race.

CCCP and District Championships
Cat A, 5th Place
BASP Overall: 1st place
Teammates: Aron (7th place overall, yeah!), Blanco (SS - 3rd place overall, yahoo!)
Photos stolen from Lauren H's Flickr collection

Well, consistency counts for something. I actually had a pretty good race today.

The course was pretty cool actually and I think it had a decent mix of power, speed, and technique required. Incidentally, when I think power, speed, and technique, I think Ben Jacques-Maynes...but cool? Da J-M-iac was uber-cool sporting some nice lamb chops and 1980's-style shades, he looked like something right off the set of CHiPs. Barry and Andy were no-shows which pretty much turned it into a one-horse race for the title.



Caught the end of the M35+ race a bit while warming up - Mark and Todd had a nice little battle to the end. Congrats to both, Mark for the race, and Todd for the District Title.

Brought the family along and hence only got 2 laps of warm-up (which, incidentally was 2 more laps than Justin got). The course was cool - pretty fast up the hill, some nice flats at the top, bumpy downhill, hairpin into the beach run/ride, then the flat section which required a fair amount of power thru the grassy sections. Lots of S-turns... everything was straightforward except the beach, which I'm still not sure if it was better to run or ride - every time I rode it I felt it sucking the life from my legs and I felt better running it - this in spite of not doing any real running this year. Oh yeah, and there was a killer playground for the boys who never saw Daddy pedal a stroke...

Felt like poo in the warm-up but luckily I have a short memory.

Race starts and we fly up the hill pretty sanely - Ben and Justin leading. After the descent I was back in 5th or 6th and going into the beach all those knuckleheads try to ride the first time thru so I dismount and sprint past them all and get back on with a nice little gap on the field.


brief moment of glory

BJM and Josh hook up with me and we roll the next 1/2 lap before Ben ups the tempo. Josh follows but crashes in the dust near the top and we're back together with Chris McGovern coming up. Dave Wyandt joins us and I'm pretty sure these seasoned racers will all be dropping me soon. Next lap Chris flats and is never seen again near the front. I yo-yo off and on the Rock Lobster duo and even promise to do some work if I ever start feeling good. Ben didn't really ever get too much time on us, but I think he was just doing enough to win the race without messing up his road training. I was actually starting to feel back in the game with about 4 to go, but then on the descent my rear wheel hit something I couldn't see and heard the rear going flat. Tried to signal ahead to the pit but it was like in the middle of crowd so I got there and hollered to Dan (the neutral man) and he got my bike (thx Dan), losing probably 10 more seconds or so in the transition. Got on the new bike and immediately noticed the tire pressure difference (higher) so I had to start taking corners a little more gingerly. Dave and Josh were slowly pulling away and I was in limbo with Chance and Chris chasing from behind. I thought I had a good gap but inside 1 to go Chance must have put in one hell of a surge because he caught me just after the beach, and immediately attacked and gapped me afterwards. Honestly I wish I tried harder but really it didn't matter at that point - I had the overall sewn up and didn't feel much like fighting any more. I did manage to shake my fist in mock defiance at Chris in the hairpins - he probably would have caught me if the race were 1/2 lap longer.

I was really happy that the day went fairly smoothly and I was able to win the overall pretty comfortably.

After the race I went back to the pit to get my bike, and found that once again I had become the butt of more bike maintenance jokes. This time it was my chainring bolts - THREE of FIVE were missing and the chainrings were just hanging on. I can't believe I didn't notice it during the race. Anyhow, I'd say I was lucky I flatted otherwise I could have had a catastrophic mechanical somewhere out on the course. Though I did flat a brand new Flexus that I glued on Wednesday - merde! I'll try and work some more sealant in and see if it holds...fingers crossed...

Just for the record, I *do know how to fix bikes*...I'm just having a hard time finding time for it these days, for some reason.

Congratulations to Ben for winning the District Championships, and thanks to all the really fast guys for missing most of the races so as to allow me to walk away with the overall booty...just in time for Christmas.

Yosemite

Photo I forgot to post from our trip to Yosemite a couple weeks ago...

I could get used to 45 min races

I mean, it's not like we're going any slower...really, we weren't.

CCCX Prunedale
M35+ A - 3rd place
Teammates: Mike Morgan

Today Fran wanted me home at a reasonable hour so I thought I'd give a Masters race a try - I've also forgotten what 45 minute races are like so it was a good pre-Natz reminder. Headed down to Prunedale for the CCCX race at 11AM. Prunedale hates me, that hill always seems to whip my butt and the neverending S-turns always seem to slow me down more than the others. Oh, and they made the course go a little further up the hill at the end, which I didn't think was possible. They also removed the log-hop and change the run-up (well, apparently it was a ride-up for Wicks a little later)

Anyhow, basically achieved my goal of getting a good workout AND had a damn fun ride with Henry Kramer, Rich Maile, and Todd Hoefer and we pretty much all stayed together in spite of a few attempts by the Cal-Giant duo to break us up - especially Todd who hit it pretty hard a few times. I think Gannon Myall was also at the start as well and I think he got a mechanical in the first dirt section...bummer. I was way under-warmed-up so I sat on (not by choice) for a couple of laps which pretty much left Rich to suck down all the early attacks. Towards the end I made a couple of lame attempts to lift the pace but we all pretty much stayed together. Going into the last couple of sections I was trying to stay on the front but Henry got around me before the run-up and coming off the final barriers into the home straight I stupidly tried to re-mount a little too close to Henry's rear wheel and just a small twitch to the right from Henry caused our wheels to touch and me to bobble the remount - by the time I re-re-mounted Rich came by and I was racing for 3rd - doh! Oh well, not gonna beat myself up about botching another finish, may not have had the legs to come around Henry anyhow, the stud.


Henry

Anyhow, I enjoy riding with these boys and it's so nice to ride with folks who have so much genuine respect for one another that racing is downright enjoyable...hmmm maybe I'll cash in the old age card for good soon...

Rich was solid once again on his SS, and now I'm thinking next time he rides gears (Districts?) we all better look out, especially if he remembers how to use those shifters.

I did notice that 45 minutes seemed to go by much quicker than 60 minutes (funny how that works). It seemed like 4 to go came in no time. Also noticed I didn't start feeling good until about 35 minutes into the race...don't think that's good.

I've been on and off the fence about giving up my plans for Nationals given the fact that I don't feel like I have any top end this year - thanks to craziness at work (deadlines) and home (kids), I haven't been on a training program for the last 1 1/2 months and I'm lucky if I get 2 rides between Monday and Friday and luckier if I get 3 races out of 5 weekends at this point. I'm still gonna go since I already cashed in the miles and it'll be a good visit with the fam in Beantown. I just need to pray for dry-ish conditions - which is probably like praying for snow in Hell.

BTW Thanks to Keith and all the CCCX folks for another nice day of racing. Oh, and Julie I saw you holding that bottle for me...thanks!

Who Was That Guy?

Pilarcitos BASP #4 - Golden Gate Park
2nd Place, Cat. A

(photos stolen from Lauren H's Flickr collection)

Everyone was asking me that after the race. That guy is Brian Astell - Pro XTerra and MTB racer turned newbie-crosser. He's been there at the other races, just off the pace from the winners, so I figured it was a matter of time before this kid got his due. Of course, it had to come on what may have been my last chance to ever win an Elite race in my life. So, in the end, I got beaten at my own game by this fast kid, and barely beat Mr. Rich "tough-as-nails" Maile on his friggin' Single Speed.


the king and I

I've been getting amped up for this race, being in my back yard and knowing the big boys were up in the Northwest getting muddy. I did well here back in '04 (2nd behind AJM) before the back injury, and I love these fast courses.

Saturday I went over to the course and did a few laps. Fast and tacky fun. No run-ups. Practiced hopping the single barrier with no problems, although it was a little terrifying that it was a pretty fast approach - it's always a little unnerving approaching a barrier at speed.

Well, rode the 15 or so blocks down to the race on Sunday - got some funny looks since I was riding TWO bikes. Got to the race and did some warmup laps, and watched some of the Masters race. Steve Reaney and Alan Coates were embroiled in another battle, and Steve seemed to be holding Alan off by 15 seconds for what seemed like an eternity - it was quite a battle of wills.

Finally brought my spare bike to the pit, and decided to do one last practice on the hoppable barrier. Came in with a good head of steam, wheelied up, and...oops my right foot came out of the pedal...and...

crashed...SPECTACULARLY.

Slammed rear wheel into the barrier and head-over-heels on the gravel. Good thing I know how to fall off a bike.

Ugh, ok I'll admit it's been on my to-do list for weeks to replace my cleats and now I've paid dearly for it. The suckers have been ready to go for months - I've been popping out of my right pedal from time-to-time lately, but never at such an inopportune moment (god, it's so hard to find time to fix my equipment these days...). So now a good part of my strategy is shot, because there ain't no way I'm gonna risk doing THAT during the race. Spent the last 20 minutes before the race (a) letting Lauren console my broken ego (she saw the whole thing) (b) letting Cameron true my rear wheel and (c) letting the medic dig gravel out of my hand (thanks a ton Lauren, Cameron, and medic-lady!).

Tried to forget about it and got a decent start and sat on Robert Mau while he did his Kamikaze first-lap thing. By the early part of Lap 2 Rich Maile and Brian Astell had both joined me and the game was on. Heading into the single barrier on lap 2 Brian comes by and cleans the barriers, probably a good 1-2mph faster than I was doing it in warm-up. Damn! Rich and I dismount and dig deep to get back on him. A couple more laps of that and I'm trying not to curse myself for not getting those new cleats, because it was a good advantage and Brian would open up 30M every time on us. Rich and I managed a few times to keep Brian behind us into the barrier, but for the most part we just resigned ourselves to digging to catch him over and over again.


Brian Astell schooling me 'n Rich

Oh, and a word about Maile - superlatives don't do the man justice. I used to enjoy watching him kick M35+ butt in Clif days a few years back. He is so strong, so skilled, and truly a class act. Rich and I have never been able to finish a battle before and the only reason I got him in the end was because of the SS - I attacked with 2 to go in a place where I knew Rich's gear was his weakness, and I was hoping I could get Brian caught up behind him. Well, Brian made it back up to me quickly, so quickly, in fact, that I missed the bus and was already a bit behind when we hit the single barrier - where he opened up the final decisive gap and held it for 1 1/2 laps to the finish. It was impressive to watch this kid race. I tried not to look back because I could feel Rich breathing down my neck.

So, I got 2nd, I guess I should be happy, but it would have been nice to win a race and get this monkey off my back. I think Rich knows this monkey (the Funke Monkey?), because he actually tried to offer his help to me during the race, but I guess I really wanted to win or lose on my own terms.

As consolation I increased my lead in the series. The final race will be very interesting, though, because it is Districts and I don't think there are any major races that day so the big boys should be on-hand to fight for the district title, and I'll be back to fighting for a top 5.

After the race I cheered Lauren on in the Women's race, where Shelly Olds rode off into the sunset, holding Stella and Lauren off at ~0:30 and 1:00, respectively.

Congrats to the Sycippers for great rides. Rich Blanco did a great ride in the SS race. Mattias won the 35B race again AND got 5th in SS. Lauren was solid again for 3rd in the Women. Oh, and Aron just missed the top 10 and moved into 9th overall in the A's - yay team!

Thanks also to the Pilarcitos crew and the Roaring Mouse gang for puttig on a great event. Thanks also to Julie Barrot for the feeds!

Deja Vu All Over Again...

Pilarcitos #3, McClaren Park, SF
Cat: A
Place: 3rd

I had a boat-load of excuses coming into today's race, including, foremost, the fact that I have only done two easy rides since the last Pilarcitos race. In spite of that, the absence of any of the big boys should always present an opportunity to actually win a race, and today I had the opportunity, and, as is usually the case, I completely botched it up.

The course was pretty tough - flat finish stretch (really nice location, actually) and a great run-up followed by a butt-busting climb to the top of the hill. Bumpy descent and a little climb to the big log, then a really gnarly descent to the bottom followed by another tough little climb (which would prove to be my nemesis). Then a little downhill and back to the flatlands where they put like 8 of the tightest S-turns you could imagine (they were actually faster to run if you wanted to).

So...anyone notice how damn exciting the Masters races have been lately? I truly think they're going faster than the A's, especially on days like today when it's just us local hoodlums...I really hope people appreciate how awesome the weekly Masters races turn out with D'Aluisio, Reaney, Myall, Maile, Coates, Kramer, and Howie going at it week after week. BTW Maile rode his Single-Speed to 2nd place in the M35 race which is pretty amazing considering the range of gears the rest of us were using. There is going to be some big-time Nor-Cal firepower at Masters Natz.

Anyhow, our race starts and I slide in behind Pat Rocchi on the first run-up. Pat slides out in a corner and I hit the hill in first and tempo it and hold the lead up to the big log. On the descent I was trying to decide whether to try to hop the log on the first lap, which is generally a bad idea, but I figured even if I messed it up it was all strung out so I wouldn't lose many spots. Did the hop pretty well and got to the top of the hill with a big gap. I wasn't ready to push it yet so I just tried to dial in the sections to the Start-Finish, allowing Brian Astell and a few others to catch me from behind. The hop seemed like such a huge advantage, on the next lap I made the point of riding the front over the top and down the hill, and on the 2nd lap opened another gap and decided I'd be better off alone, and started focusing on riding a clean fast race. Over the next few laps my lead increased and I was probably 30-40 seconds up on Aaron Kereluck and feeling good with about 4 to go. Lots of cheers from friends (like Scott and Gail) and a couple of hand-ups from Julie Barrot and I'm feeling pretty confident.


Photo: Jon Suzuki

...then I botched a shift and the chain goes into the spokes on the tough little climb before the descent to the S/F. ARRGH! I think everyone within a mile heard me... Had a really hard time extracting my chain and lost probably 30-ish seconds and now Aaron and Troy Barry (who bridged up from behind) were just a few seconds back. Then on the next lap I DO IT AGAIN, losing the remainder of my lead and now it's me Aaron, and Troy in front. I still felt in control and we stayed together 'til 1 to go. I lead up the run-up and try to hit it hard on the climb - SNAP! something goes in the rear end, and Troy gets by. Tire is hitting the chainstays and I tell Aaron I'm out and give him room to get by. From then on I just ride as hard as my rubbing wheel will let me, and just prayed nobody else was catching me from behind. Luckily I had a good buffer back to Brian and I was able to hobble in for 3rd.

Aaron was able to outsprint Troy for a great win on a tough course - there's proof that you never give up...congrats to Aaron and also to Troy for a great race.

I ripped the nipple clean out of my rear Helium...trashed. Dammit I just glued those with a fairly permanent tape/glue job. Think I'll try to replace that rim with a Reflex this week...wonder if I can get that Flexus off there...

I noticed there were a bunch of DNF's today so I suppose I'm lucky I got to finish. Not sure what happened to Hernando and Kid Cam, I expected them both to whup my heinie today. Only other noteworthy thing is that Mark Noble didn't show up today so I took over the lead in Series, though Aaron is not far behind now with the taste of sweet victory on his lips...

I really need to spend a little more time on bike maintenance - damn stupid to have such poorly-adjusted derailleurs that I can throw it into the spokes, though I can't say I've ever had that problem in the past. Ugh, and only this morning did I find the time to replace the seatpost that fell apart last Pilarcitos race...now that my head is above water and visiting relatives are gone perhaps I can get the bikes running smoothly again...